Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
