First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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