i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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