Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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