I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize