The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
