just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Randomize
