lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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