I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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