Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
