Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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