So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
