stop calling my apartment porn island.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
