You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
