I'm gonna have a badass scar
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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