69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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