I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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