everyone is single if you try hard enough
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
