My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
