Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs

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(609): View more from New Jersey

not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies

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(512): View more from Texas

And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes

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(479): View more from Arkansas

As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.

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(251): View more from Alabama

why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?

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(760): View more from California

I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand

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(601): View more from Mississippi

But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.

(1-601): View more from Mississippi

Who is this?

(601): View more from Mississippi

Oops wrong number

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