i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
