i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
