I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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