I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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