Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
