tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
