Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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