Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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