Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
