Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
as a side note pls kill me
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
