With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
