....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
