He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
