seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
