I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
