we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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