i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Randomize
