There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
