It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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