"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
