I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
