It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
