It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
