she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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