You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
