she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
