My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
