you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
