grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
