You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
