I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
