Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
