this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize