im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize