He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
