Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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