i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
