Having a random hookup so left but love u
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
