After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
