the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize