before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
