Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
